Currently Playing With The Lights Out [3CD Box Set + DVD] By Nirvana Polly see related

My friend Chris just took me out to dinner as a late birthday thing. Its always cool to see him cuz he is one of those ppl who are easily amused by things and I amuses me because I'm totally the opposite of him. Well we just ate and talked about how I hated my life and how I feel lost and how Chris hates his job and what not. So after awhile we decide to leave and he drives me home. Well as I'am saying my farewell to him he said "Lex, look under the seat, I got you something for your birthday" I look under and I can't find it so he finally finds it at the backseat. He hands it to me and it's the Nirvana box set! I grew up listening to Nirvana and they have always inspired me with my artwork. 1st birthday present I got and it rocks! As I walked towards my front door I just couldn't help myself from crying, I needed this.

My family ended up having a BBQ and my mom got me this small cake but that didn't cheer me up. My family has a BBQ EVERY weekend! Oh and the cake, my mom always buys dessert for herself. They could of atleast tried and put a candle on the damn thing. Just seems like my family could careless about my b-day.

My friend Justin must of felt really sorry for me and invited me out for drinks but I just wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone. I think I hurt his feelings when I told him I wasn't in the mood, I feel bad now. I always do this, someone finally trys to do something nice for me and I just can't see it cuz I'm too worried about the bad stuff going on. I really wish I was hanging out with him right now but I guess its too late now.

A few weeks ago a few friends of mine wanted to plan this event and go to some bars and have a goodtime for my birthday. We decided to do it the night before my b-day cuz my day landed on a sunday. SO saturday rolled by and I showered, shaved and all that jazz and I waited and waited and waited and nothing. I was soo bummed cuz they all fucking forgot. I felt like such an idiot cuz I got all dressed and waited by the phone like a moron. You have no idea how angry and dissapointed I felt last night. So I took some nyquil and went to bed.

This morning my mom woke me up to wish me Happy Birthday but I was still drugged up on Nyquil to care. My brothers wished me a happy b-day but my dad hasn't, he never does. Seems like he could careless if it was my b-day or not. Today is the only day out of the whole fucking year I just want to be happy and have fun the most but it never happens!